When I was 10 or 11, and I guess she was 17 or 18, she came to visit from Delaware. She had dyed black hair, combat boots and a Depeche Mode t-shirt. I remember thinking she was so cool I shouldn't even try to talk to her. Nearly every girl I have ever dated, or had a hopeless crush on has reminded me of her in some way or another.
I didn't see her for a decade or so, and during the interim, she was way ahead of me... she was going to Limelight and The Building when I was still a hopeless dweeb. She came in to visit again in '98, and me, Julie-Ann and thewretchedrein went to the city together. She bought drug paraphernalia and techno 12"s, and dropped names I didn't hear about for another year or two afterwards. I had outgrown the schoolboy crush I had, but I still thought she was the coolest girl I'd ever met.
I saw Julie-Ann for the first time in 5 years today. She's different. Settled down. A soccer mom. She's still sweet and all, but she's not the things I used to associate with her anymore. I'm glad that she's happy, and has a great kid, but a little bit of me is sad for the part of her that may be gone forever. And I wonder if one day that will be me. Will I toss my haujobb shirts in the closed for a sweater? Ditch my paratrooper boots for sensible brown oxfords? Carry a briefcase and start jogging?
The thought terrifies me.
Sara's birthday was fun! Great Thai food, and great company. In attendance: kingmob23, diamondbankman1, pale_moon_villa, Donna, Carrie and a bunch of Sara's friends I don't know so well. Good shit.