"something very fucking bad happened and I won't say any more except that if anything it's both of our faults.. but goddamn if the past 2 days didn't feel like winter in Requiem for a Dream.. You know how you can project the darker 'other' of your personality onto a person (or group?) well i guess it works the other way too.. you can project only the good stuff on the other person while seeing yourself as the shadow.. adorn them with halo, wings, etc... the point is that a pedestal is a place where neither one of us feels comfortable at all.. and that's where we put each other.. please don't ask us about specifics just let it be... i can speak for the both of us when i say we're still traumatized & shaken... "
Meanwhile, kingmob23 said something that also applies to this situation:
"I feel like I made a huge mistake, one of many. I think I got uppity, presumed too much, made the mistake of holding myself in slightly higher esteem than I ever had the right to."
we were thinking of different things, but it applies.
this has thrown 2 years of my life into a different perspective.
I hope i didn't wreck a friendship for good. I hope i can fix the damage I've done to myself over the last 18 years. if not... well, I can always become a lonely misanthrope, right?
A little thank you for those who have tried to pick my spirits up. Greatly appreciated, guys.
if you comment, please be gentle. I am on the brink of absolute emotional collapse here.