Earlier today I mentioned to someone that drinking and driving may be a bad plan. I might have also mentioned that maneuvering drunken girls into having sex with you when you knew they would regret it and feel violated tomorrow was also a bad plan. I was probably drunk, but sometimes you just have to take a stand for the ridiculously obvious. The guy I was talking to decided I was anti-alcohol.
I'm pro-alcohol and pro-sex. I just think that both of those things should never be used to hurt someone. I am pro-broccoli, too, but just think that you should not shove it up your ass. This is why Piggely Wiggely doesn't sell ass-broccoli.
Again, probably drunk. It's a Friday night.
Guy (and I think his name might have been Guy) said "Hey, Churchill and FDR drank while Hitler was a teetotaler." I got to explain to Guy why he scared the fuck out of me. His brain somehow missed a really important connection. Hitler was not a bad guy because he wouldn't drink. He wasn't a bad guy because he had one testicle. He wasn't a bad guy because of the funny moustache and the bad art and the yodeling (I don't know for sure that Hitler Yodeled or owned lederhosen).
He was a bad guy because he instigated the murder of some 12 million people.
This made me realize that Guy, an otherwise smart guy, would flunk this test:
Hitler. Bad man because:
a) did not drink
b) Yodeled (possibly) in lederhosen
c) Had only one testicle
d) Killed absolute fuckloads of people
If you flunk this quiz, answer a) and are asked to show your work, what do you show? "I enjoy a good Mohito every once in a while and therefore Hitler is evil incarnate"? Noone likes Mohitos that much. The truth is that you can't show the work. Because there is no way to get there from here. It's a black box in between and in that box? No clue. If you answered d), however, you can show your work like this
"killing fuckoads of people = the bad"
For future reference, people who definitely get this equation make good neighbors.
If you're on myspace, add them, if you're not, then bookmark his blog. You will laugh and learn. :P